localfreak: avatar which I have used as mine since scarboard days 10 years ago (Default)
It's been a really shitty kind of week this week. That is a poor choice of words right there, sorry. But BASICALLY I've been REALLY ILL all week. It started at about 4AM on Tuesday morning and Mum came down at the same time which led us to believe food poisoning but other people have had a remarkably similar D&V bug lately so the jury is still out. I actually think I have been more ill this time than the time a few years ago when I had the Norovirus.

I'm trying not to overshare, because when I am ill I kind of want to and it is just awkward because I will undoubtedly regret it. So I'm just going to say I HAVE BEEN REALLY ILL and it has been TERRIBLE.

In ADDITION to that, my darling puppy-dog, my little ginger slug, my old tigger, my reading-and-cuddles companion for over twelve years had to go to be put to sleep on Wednesday. It had been a bit...ominous for a while. My Ferny had a cough, which put extra pressure on her dicky heart because there was fluid build up but after the vet upped her last lot of medication she perked up again. But the weather has been getting colder the past few weeks and then on Monday night we were walking and she just stopped. She didn't fall, but she knew she didn't feel safe walking so Auntie I had to carry her home and although she was pottering around again the next day it was really the last sign.

I can't even begin to think how much I am going to miss her yet. She has been as much my dog as my Auntie's really, when you tot up all our time together.

I am currently dealing with this by denial. Because apart from one small breakdown on the evening after it happened, I have been too ill (and because of ill therefore headachey, dehydrated and not eating anything) to actually deal with life properly. So instead I have indulged a newly formed obsession that started a week ago when I read a fanfic Avengers AU in which Steve and Bucky are internet vloggers. And so I looked up some well known vloggers to try and understand this more and got hooked on danisnotonfire and Amazing Phil. So I spend three days watching their danandphilgames TheSims series whilst sipping water and ignoring the real world.

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localfreak: avatar which I have used as mine since scarboard days 10 years ago (Default)
localfreak

April 2017

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