localfreak: avatar which I have used as mine since scarboard days 10 years ago (Default)
So I may have had a tiny little meltdown when I realised that I have an assignment due in on 21st March...the week BEFORE my week off (I must have known this at some point, but somehow forgotten in the meantime) so had a bit of a

ohgodadeadlineandididntknowandivegotsomuchtodoandimgonnafail and I KEEP FALLING ASLEEP.

*breathes*

But it's okay now. Well, it's not okay but I spend the afternoon reading through everything I need to do and enough background reading to carry me through (though I have to say- uni reading list people? If it isn't available online maybe at least try and give me something that's in print off the reading list. curses)

In other news it is Mother's day on Sunday here in the UK. Well technically Mothering Sunday, a custom that dates back to medieval times (at least) in which on the fourth Sunday of Lent people visited their Mother Church (the one they grew up in. In the Victorian times servants were given the Sunday off to do so- and also therefore visit their Mothers, and the cusom of taking a Simnel cake appeared them as well as the term 'going mothering'.

That said these days we treat it the same as the american holiday in that we buy our mothers cards, gifts etc. Mine is very hard to buy for as the shops explode with PINK things and offers on makeup (nope), jewellery (nope), PINK things (nope). I think I've managed though. I bought her a new case for her kindle and two ebooks and then because that looked a bit pants I've ordered The Lost Words by Robert Macfarlane which is a pretty illustrated booka bout language and nature. I saw it reviewed on booktube last year and as it's full of big illustrations I am hoping that the print will be large enough to be comfortable too. The only chocolates I could order online were Too Damn Fancy (so she wouldn't like them) so I'm going to have to go to the shop near work and buy a gross of Wagon Wheels or something.

I haven't come up with anything for my Nanny though which is a worry. Again, she insists she wants nothing BUT THIS IS A LIE. I just have to come up with something original.

*sobs*

Work is also Uncomfortably Busy at the momet which is distinctly not helping matters. My next tasks for uni are:

- conduct literature searches I've planned for my dissertation proposal and then email my tutor as I think I've got confused over something now.
- design a webpage as part of a group task
- the assignment due on 21st.

Which sounds a bit more manageable than the to do list I had at lunchtime today so there's a plus. The hardest thing actually is being so tired all the time.
localfreak: avatar which I have used as mine since scarboard days 10 years ago (Default)
My 2017 ended and 2018 began with more whimper than bang and more gross vomiting noises than whimpers, which is why I still haven't produced so much as my usual Book and Film lists for 2017 (which I know, right, you're all DYING to see *gazes from the rickety stage to the empty auditorium. A dog barks in the distance*). That is to say my Nanny's been ill, and then I spent Christmas vomiting profusely and unable to think, and now Auntie I and Mum are both ill and I have THIS WEEK to complete all of my Uni assignments which are due by Monday morning (so in effect by Saturday at the latest in case of system downtime or anything terrible like that). So I have ended up doing exactly what I didn't want to do which is instead of hoarding up my annual leave to treat myself to a trip to London to see the History of Magic exhibition at the British Library, I've used it to book a week off to do my assignment. Because dear heaven I am not a pantser.

As I write this I know have a nice 3086 words of essay in Draft 2 form cooling on the computer and an email sent off to arrange a phone conversation with a professor to talk over my dissertation ideas before I complete the form needed for that. My portfolio assignment is...

well, I might go and glance at it again before the deadline but...

see, the thing is, it has been a really hard last term for me because the module the portfolio is for I have HATED. The teacher has been really nice but I have REALLY HATED the module and then to produce a portfolio has actually killed me. Hi, I'm a ghost. Wooh. So I spent most of the Autumn/Winter term struggling with commitments and also feeling REALLY ANGRY at how much it cost me to try and keep treading water with the damned topic. It hasn't been good and it hasn't been pretty. It has leeched all the joy out for a bit and now I'm just hoping against all hope that both this essay and the portfolio are passed. I don't care about marks, just a pass will do, so I can move on to a module I think might be more my speed and the dissertation - which fills me with dread over the workload but at least I can Get Started on it all.

...if I fail these modules bugger knows what I'm going to do.

I have promised myself SO MANY TREATS for when I get all these things done though, you wouldn't believe. I'm going to
1. Read ALL THE AWESOME BOOKS I got for Christmas
2. Read all my library books
3. Try my new notebooks out
4. Make my room less of a dystopian hellscape (believe me, it's COVERED IN ACADEMIA in the WORST POSSIBLE WAY)
5. Read ALL the 12 days of Christmas fic submissions
6. Write some of the damn fic in my head (seriously, I haven't had any writing ideas for month now when I haven't the time to write them they're dribbling out of my ears (I did sneak a quick one out- I'll link it in a separate post)
7. Go shopping. Like fun shopping in La Pool or somewhere. I never thought I'd say that but firstly because everyone is sick I've been taking the dog out and my trainers are worn to nothing and let mud in and secondly I haven't been anywhere without feeling under pressure due to upocming performance or assignments since about October and I miss it. The only shopping trip I did on the run up to Christmas I managed because I booked the afternoon off following a work-related meeting in the nearby city and used it first to complete part of my portfolio assignment giving myself a mere hour and half or so to run around desperately trying to get something for my Mum as everything she'd asked for was the kind of thing you needed to see in person not risk buying online.

For now, that will have to wait though as I will shortly return to reading my essay aloud to see if it makes any more sense that way (or I would do, but I have to go and cook tea first for the family snotfest). That's the worst of essays, I actually don't mind writing them but ultimately you reach a point where you go: I have written the thing. I no longer know if it makes sense, is any good or achieves any aims. It is a thing that is written.

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localfreak: avatar which I have used as mine since scarboard days 10 years ago (Default)
localfreak

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