the humble local freak

Title: Rainbow in Soho
Fandom: Good Omens
Ship: Aziraphale/Crowley implied (Aziraphale!Solo)
Wordcount: 2160
URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24925651
Summary: Lockdown shouldn't be a problem for a celestial being, but despite keeping busy with his books and his baking, Aziraphale gets a little lonely and restless.
And you know what they say about idle hands...

[Aziraphale has a very nice, pride-themed, wank]


Because I saw a picture of a rainbow dildo and it's stayed in my head ever since. Welcome to lockdown.

Title: Miracle hour at The Magpie
Fandom: Good Omens
Ship: Crowley/Aziraphale
Wordcount: 720
URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23342377
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale on holiday. You can't visit Whitby without fish and chips from The Magpie.

Title: Absent Friends
Fandom: Good Omens
Ship: Gennish
URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23284354
Wordcount: 1159
Summary: After a terrible verdict, following the worst months of his life, one man leaves the public gallery and seeks sanctuary in a little Soho bookshop.

I'm not often on my laptop these days. I spend SO MUCH time in work on my computer and it sometimes strikes me as so very sad that although owning a smartphone has given me access to cool stuff I enjoy and new ways to contact my friends and watch videos and listen to music, there are things that I used to enjoy that suffer on that platform. Blogging is one of them, reading copperbadge's blog is another one, writing long form stuff...

There used to be, as well, something enjoyable in the pattern of life. I would wake up, turn my computer on and while it wound itself up go and get washed and then maybe watch a few videos while getting dressed or read some fic while I pootled around getting ready. Now I'm much less good at getting up when I can just start flicking through my phone while still in the duvet! But hey, it means I get a lot more access to fic for longer duration- very important particularly as these days I'm often not at home long enough to wind the computer up!

Lots of stuff on my mind at the moment. Work stuff, social media shit, the fact that I need to get up in a minute and go and move my car as whe I got home my neighbour was clearly having some sort of scooter meet and they were blocking my drive.

Well, if I didn't know I was more mod than rocker before I surely do now. Ugh.

I haven't really had a lot of time for thinking about things, but sometimes that can be good with me as it postpones my natural eeyore tendencies. I was at a work thing the other week which was absolutely (suprisingly) lovely and I met a lot of really nice people and then it was straight into a show with my drama group (comedy stuff). Tomorrow night we start on Blithe Spirit- I am very much looking forward to it.

I really need to stop reading so much fic on my phone when I have a perfectly good computer and a loanable tablet available to me at home. Really, I knew this would happen once I graduated to a proper damn smartphone with a pay plan, and although yes that does mean that I don't post on here that much and don't go on a lot of different sites (because I CAN READ FIC ALL THE TIME NOW AHAHA) it also means I can fall down a happy fic mire and emerge eyeballs stinging and both palms aching from holding the damn phone.

Re-read Known Associates by things with wings (full rec here. And then Scents and Sensibility: The Working Assassin's Guide to Supersoldier Seduction by galwednesday, silentwalrus & skellerbvvt (no full rec yet but you can read the fic here and just give me time. I hadn't read the latter since it was a WIP so when one of my friends mentioned it ("that fic where they live in reefs") a quick google for Stucky clownfish Ao3 brought it all back.

*smiles, sphinx like*

I'm full of a cold at the moment which is grim because stringing thoughts together is like plaiting fog and I feel like this is a time when I need to be AWAKE and DOING THINGS in work and at home and mostly I'm not managing too well with any of that. Genuinely, last weekend we finally got the boxes of decs back in the loft. There are so many things that I need to do. That I should be doing.

*gazes into middle distance*

*returns to current fic re-read (but, hey, I'm using the laptop, that counds for something right? Even if to use it on my lap I have discovered I sit with knees up by means of being on tip-toe which makes my legs go numb. But her, better than more hand pains, eh?

Fuck's sake, self.

8AM Text.

IX: Hi are you still ok to come to [CLOTHING OUTLET PLACE SOME MILES AWAY] today?
Me: (Oh shit, they've misunderstood a conversation we had earlier in the week) I'm so sorry, I didn't realise you meant for me to come and I've got plans (I really need to study)
IX: Ok don't worry about it

SILENCE

Some hours later

Mum: I'm going out
Me: Oh, okay where are you going
Mum: To walk [Ix's] the dog
Me: Oh. Why did she go out anyway then?
Mum: IT WOULD APPEAR SO
Me: Oh, have you spoken to Nan then? I didn't hear the phone.
Mum: Obviously.
Me: *SCREAMING INSIDE*

Five minutes later

Mum: I'm going now, do you want me to lock the door?
Me: No thanks, I'll listen out I'm just studying
Mum: Well if you go out just lock it
Me: Okay, I'm not likely to go out
Mum: If you go out lock it because I've got keys
Me: Okay, I will. I'm not going to get to go meet my friends though I think, I've still got so much studying to do
Mum: When you go, take a bag and buy [THINGS FROM THE PLACE]

Me: *SCREAMING INSIDE AGAIN*

FOR FUCKS BASTARDING SAKE WHAT OF "I WOULD LOVE TO GO OUT BUT I'M ALSO GOING TO FAIL THIS FUCKING DEGREE IF I DON'T GET THIS WRITTEN" IS FUCKING UNCLEAR.

Now of course I am SO ANGRY I want to just say fuck it to everything and go out anyway. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I am mired in studying stuff and theatre shows and work stuff. I know it's mostly self-inflicted but sometimes it feels exhausting spending so much time coping, and when I'm not coping I'm basically CBT-ing myself to cope.

I'm beginning to feel far too old for this shit.

So Uni has started again and with it I am spending most of my life either 1. On a computer in work doing work or 2. On a computer at home doing uni work. I had some good news about my marks for last term (OMG I passed Inf Org. THANK ALL THE GODS) so I am feeling nervously overwhelmed but also determined to Get Shit Done. So that's good for as long as it lasts.

Rehearsals for the show are...happening. I don't like to talk about rehearsals too much, I get very supsersitious about things. I will say I am LOVING being the villain. It is massive amounts of fun.

I've read quite a few books lately - many of which for my course and I have a huge reading list of children's fictiont that I need to acquire from the library so am rapidly trying to whittle down the rest of my 'to read' pile to a more manageable mass.

Rather belated but here it is...

Books of 2017

In 2017 I read 53 books which is a huge improvement from the feeble 26 of 2016 so that's good.

The best books I read for the first time were:

Invisible Man by Raplh Ellison
I orginially read a fanfic (Avengers) in which at some point Steve reads this book and although it wasn't the biggest part of the plot it made me realise that I had no idea what it was actually about! It totally blew me away. It's not the easiest book to read but bloody hell it's worth the effort.

Fairyland: A memoir of my father by Alyssia Abbott
I've had this waiting for me a while to read, written by a woman who was brought up by her bisexual father in San Fransisco and covers the thriving development of gay culture there and also the horrendous pain and suffering wrought by the AIDs crisis. Astounding book.

I also read the three Kitty Peck mystery books which are bouncy, gripping and delightful..

But the best new book has to go to: I'll give you the sun by Jandy Nelson as I actually read it twice. It tells the story of twins whith a very artistic mother and how tragedy can fracture a family and about families coming back together and healing. Really lovely.

Worst book I read

Because I have been trying to branch out and try new books there were quite a few I read and then went 'meh' over including Today Will Be Different by Maria Semple which read like a migraine but the worst was definitely My Legendary Girlfriend by Mike Gayle. I have blocked out much of why but basically I found the characters unlikeable, dull and irritating.

Best re-reads:
I reread a lot of old favourites such as Steven King's On Writing and I also read the first four Harry Potter books (I am currently listening to book five on audiobook but I appear to have stalled over this somewhat). It was lovely going back there and I actually found I enjoyed Goblet of Fire a lot more than I did first time around.

Films of 2017and uni work. I watched Sing for the first time and quite liked it..in fact that list is definitely wrong as I'm sure I watched Moana as well...which I also liked.

As to worst films, well I watched half of the Hobbit while on holiday ...but actually I was kind of drunk and tired then so it just drifted by me without any engagement on my part. I also really hated Deadpool which definitely kicks me out of the cool kids club as most people I know loved it. I was just SO BORED.

Shit I've just seen the time and need to dash as I was meant to go round to my Nan's at 12 to pick up mum's dinner. TTFN

My 2017 ended and 2018 began with more whimper than bang and more gross vomiting noises than whimpers, which is why I still haven't produced so much as my usual Book and Film lists for 2017 (which I know, right, you're all DYING to see *gazes from the rickety stage to the empty auditorium. A dog barks in the distance*). That is to say my Nanny's been ill, and then I spent Christmas vomiting profusely and unable to think, and now Auntie I and Mum are both ill and I have THIS WEEK to complete all of my Uni assignments which are due by Monday morning (so in effect by Saturday at the latest in case of system downtime or anything terrible like that). So I have ended up doing exactly what I didn't want to do which is instead of hoarding up my annual leave to treat myself to a trip to London to see the History of Magic exhibition at the British Library, I've used it to book a week off to do my assignment. Because dear heaven I am not a pantser.

As I write this I know have a nice 3086 words of essay in Draft 2 form cooling on the computer and an email sent off to arrange a phone conversation with a professor to talk over my dissertation ideas before I complete the form needed for that. My portfolio assignment is...

well, I might go and glance at it again before the deadline but...

see, the thing is, it has been a really hard last term for me because the module the portfolio is for I have HATED. The teacher has been really nice but I have REALLY HATED the module and then to produce a portfolio has actually killed me. Hi, I'm a ghost. Wooh. So I spent most of the Autumn/Winter term struggling with commitments and also feeling REALLY ANGRY at how much it cost me to try and keep treading water with the damned topic. It hasn't been good and it hasn't been pretty. It has leeched all the joy out for a bit and now I'm just hoping against all hope that both this essay and the portfolio are passed. I don't care about marks, just a pass will do, so I can move on to a module I think might be more my speed and the dissertation - which fills me with dread over the workload but at least I can Get Started on it all.

...if I fail these modules bugger knows what I'm going to do.

I have promised myself SO MANY TREATS for when I get all these things done though, you wouldn't believe. I'm going to
1. Read ALL THE AWESOME BOOKS I got for Christmas
2. Read all my library books
3. Try my new notebooks out
4. Make my room less of a dystopian hellscape (believe me, it's COVERED IN ACADEMIA in the WORST POSSIBLE WAY)
5. Read ALL the 12 days of Christmas fic submissions
6. Write some of the damn fic in my head (seriously, I haven't had any writing ideas for month now when I haven't the time to write them they're dribbling out of my ears (I did sneak a quick one out- I'll link it in a separate post)
7. Go shopping. Like fun shopping in La Pool or somewhere. I never thought I'd say that but firstly because everyone is sick I've been taking the dog out and my trainers are worn to nothing and let mud in and secondly I haven't been anywhere without feeling under pressure due to upocming performance or assignments since about October and I miss it. The only shopping trip I did on the run up to Christmas I managed because I booked the afternoon off following a work-related meeting in the nearby city and used it first to complete part of my portfolio assignment giving myself a mere hour and half or so to run around desperately trying to get something for my Mum as everything she'd asked for was the kind of thing you needed to see in person not risk buying online.

For now, that will have to wait though as I will shortly return to reading my essay aloud to see if it makes any more sense that way (or I would do, but I have to go and cook tea first for the family snotfest). That's the worst of essays, I actually don't mind writing them but ultimately you reach a point where you go: I have written the thing. I no longer know if it makes sense, is any good or achieves any aims. It is a thing that is written.